Written on the 7th of January 2009 by The Professor, Red Duke
We had a sense of real excitement as we headed out from Melbourne for our first ever Lorne Falls Festival this year. Little did we know the three days of terror that awaited us. For a start, I had fucked up my girlfriend’s flight, so we were a good 5 hours behind our friends. The late departure meant queues. Long queues. The 70 min drive from Geelong to Lorne turned into a 3.5 hour horror show as cars snaked along the Great Ocean Road from Angelsea as if jammed in Bangkok on a weekday rush hour (Red Duke).
Having lost the last half of 2008 at such rapid pace, the trip to Lorne for Falls seemed even more surreal than I’d imagined. We got our convoy together (sans the Red Duke), had packed what would prove to be our hopelessly inadequate clothing and camping gear and were ready to get busy on three days of music (The Professor). The rain I could handle, but the howling wind and freezing cold offended my North Coast NSW sensibilities. Was this not NYE? Were we not just outside a beachside resort in the middle of Summer? WTF? (Red Duke)
Day 1
First up on the list were the highly anticipated Fleet Foxes. They’re some seriously good singers, and they are certainly a tight band, but just one of those bands that would really haunt a smaller space and get a little washed out in a festival setting. Still very impressive (The Professor). Win of the first night was easily Late of The Pier – one of those bands that you might have heard of but wouldn’t be desperate to get tickets for if they toured. They owned the first night, followed by a very amateurish display from A-Trak, culminating with a paint-by-numbers MGMT closer (The Professor). ***Correction*** A-Trak didn't play Falls in Lorne as his records were lost on the flight. I'm not sure who replaced him, but they sucked (The Professor) ***
Day 2
Day 2 offered the same shitty weather, but a veritable smorgasbord of quality music, made all the better by some good old fashioned cold climate drinking (Red Duke). John Steel Singers have had an enormous year and you can see exactly why as they kept early crowd nodding some very sore heads. Their onstage banter is atrocious but they are a superb band. For all the hype and despite a pretty impressive EP, Tame Impala were kind of rudderless live and seemed a bit flat (The Professor).
From there, TZU delivered one of the better hip hop sets I’ve seen for a while, and really got the crowd in for 'She Gets Up', 'Computer Love' & the somewhat ironic 'Summer Days' (Red Duke). Tegan and Sara were like listening to a dog whistle – all whine and angst. I was reminded of an old review that declared “the term ‘tampon rock’ is too kind for Tegan and Sara, the most edgy thing about these girls is their haircuts”. Touché (The Professor).
Gameboy Gamegirl threw a curveball at the evening big top crowd, but their nerd-hedonism went down a treat. Fat male nudity has rarely been better received by the punters. Grafton Primary had (as always) a solid and vocal contingent from the 2460 representing, and put on a super tight show. They’re really coming on as a live band and rocked the top out (The Professor).
It’s almost unfair to put The Hives in with other bands on this review – they’re simply outstanding. Howlin’ Pelle’s banter is peerless, the band is ridiculously tight and the energy is amazing. If I could only see one live band ever again, it would be The Hives (The Professor). I (Red Duke) was discovered by my friends after hours of wanderings at the real highlight of both the night and the festival - The Hives. Famous world-wide for psyching crowds up with their Swedish bravado and extensive back catalogue, the well dressed Scandinavians tore up the cold air with 'Walk Idiot Walk', 'Two Timing Touch' & 'Broken Bones' and the classic 'Hate to Say I Told You So' being highlights amongst many.
Day 3 – New Year’s Eve
The final day was more eclectic with NZ’s likeable if bland Cut Off Your Hands segueing into the bizarre but gripping CW Stoneking. For the uninitiated, CW is a shaved haired, barber suited outback boy who plays rootsy neo blue grass ramblings with a voice that sounds like someone telling an aboriginal joke in a pub in Kalgoorlie. Whoah (Red Duke). Mystery Jets have all the arrows in the quiver – talent, great songs and good cohesion, but stumbled on the setlist. Slow songs killed their momentum a bit, but otherwise they were top notch (The Professor).
Architecture In Helsinki were well out of place playing in daylight hours, but as usual they threw everything at the set, including a remix of ‘Debbie’, and a cover of Matthew Wilder’s ‘Break My Stride’. Perfect pitch – with the security guards leading the clapping – both myself and Red Duke award them second best in show. Ideally they should have been swapped with Gomez in my humble opinion (The Professor).
Wolf And Cub ran hard at the title for world’s most stoned band, but nevertheless (or as a result?) turned out some solid psychedelica. The newer tracks represent a slight direction change, but it’s still mo’ shreddin’ (The Professor). I hit Wolf & Cub to get my fix of stoner rock before Santogold, who on first listening keeps you there for the whole set, regardless of your previous plans (Red Duke). Leading into Santogold I was unsure how her material would stand up to a festival setting, but that woman rocked the show out. ‘Creator’ was a thumping finale that built a great vibe as the sun disappeared on 2008 (The Professor).
The Grates also know how to keep a crowd rocking, although you have to wonder whether the throngs of blokes pogo-ing enthusiastically are there for the passionpop-rock or are simply trying to get a better look at Patience’s legs (Red Duke). Then came the first major timetable fuck up, with the whimsical Gomez completely unsuitable as a lead up to midnight on New Year’s Eve (Red Duke). Gomez are a great band and very talented, but unfortunately some scratchy voices and generally laid back vibe were more miss than hit for the time slot (The Professor).
Franz Ferdinand were much more appropriate, but started late, leaving the count down to new years a little flat, especially after I’d told my girlfriend I’d locked my keys in the car (our bed) just 15 minutes previously (Red Duke). They stepped onstage as the first band of 2009 and as predicted delivered their expectedly tight set albeit with some surprisingly flat banter for Scotsmen. Their new songs like ‘Ulysses’ stood up well beside old favourites like ‘Michael’ and ‘Take Me Out’ (The Professor).
All in all an absolutely amazing festival, with special mention going to the crowd for their attitude and generally great behaviour. We made it out of Lorne the next morning barely alive, vowing never to return to this wild weather wasteland, yet minutes later, we’d planned our trip for Falls 2009/10 (Red Duke, The Professor).
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